Aging Gracefully, Feistily, and…

I’ve been on the planet for 48 years. My hair is going grey. My face and other parts are sagging. Wrinkles appear with zits on top of them. My hip doesn’t work right.  My feet hurt.  My fingers are stiff.  A while back I had been feeling all of this keenly and knew that I had to change the internalized images I held about aging. Somehow, the sexist, ageist culture had seeped into my deepest sense of what aging means. I was feeling washed up, used up, old, dry, grey.

Of course I know that all of this is an illusion. That it doesn’t matter. That life is impermanent. But I also live in the real world and in the cyber world. The world of lovely young airbrushed images.

In this cyber-real world, what did I do to cheer myself up, to change those internal pictures? Therapy?  Church? Support groups? No, I created a Pinterest page called “Aging Gracefully Feistily and….” Now when I feel that anti-aging voice of internalized oppression creeping into my thoughts, I turn to the internet. Check out my lovely board of feisty, fun, life-loving over 40 women…. They are an inspiration.


microblog mondays, color pops

Well, here it is dark outside. I’m sooooo tired and have been doing all sorts of things today. Luckily, it’s Microblog Monday!

I am more energetic and also in more pain, so lots of exercise of the walking kind was in order today to get the blood pumping. Along the way I took lots of pictures of pops of color, which was today’s photo prompt. I’m not super happy with any of them, and wish I could edit them better or more or something. I’d like black frames, because they would give the color pops extra pop,  but I’m too tired. Been trying this app and that, and have come to two conclusions:
1.  I need to allow this post to be imperfect.
2.  I need to learn photoshop.

These are both things that have to do with making my life easier. First, it’s just easier sometimes to say, “this is what I can do today. The end.”  Secondly, sometimes you gotta do something hard to make things easier. Project Easier sometimes should be called “Project Contradictory.”

Another hard thing that we did today to make things easier in the future: Pupper and I walked to visit friends who have a new big dog, in addition to their old big dog with whom we are already friends. It was a barking, growling fest as three shelter dogs got to know each other. It was rough, as we two dog moms sometimes feel that we were raised in shelters too. Everyone getting altogether too frazzled. Too fast. Too much. Dogs barking and growling. So tiring.  We thinking we might be doing it wrong. Most likely, they’ll all three be hanging out happily in a couple of weeks or maybe sooner.

It was FH’s last day at a job where his boss has been less than pleasant toward him for two years.  So hoorays were in order. A lovely Indian Buffet Feast. So full. I know that the new job will be so much easier. FH and I seem to have let this grouchy person invade our relationship somehow. I think that the unpleasant boss has been projecting his anger onto FH, and then FH projecting it on to me, and then me, acting frustrated and confused. Maybe I’ve had too much therapy, but the fact remains that if people don’t express their bad feelings, someone else winds up experiencing those feelings and it’s not fair or fun. It’s weird. I’m burning sage like a madwoman to clear the air! Life as an empath. Very strange.

This is turning out not to be very micro, but here’s the lovely badge for MicroBlog Mondays!


Recovery from Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia

Hi and thanks for stopping in! Today I’m talking about how I’m  getting better from chronic illness. Despite all of our amazing advances in medicine, there is still so much we don’t know about the human body.  Our doctors and alternative health care workers try their best, but it doesn’t always help that much. For many years now I have been experiencing Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. It’s been pretty awful. I had to stop working because of the fatigue, pain, depression, and brain fog. Finally I am feeling so much better. Knock on a lot of wood.

I have been trying all sorts of treatments for the last few years, but recently my Primary Care Physician (who is the “specialist” in chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia at Kaiser) and I had hit a dead end. She’s a good doctor, but I knew I needed to do something else. After reading the very helpful book, CFS Unravelled – One man’s search for the Cause of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and the Discovery Essential for You To Recover by Dan Neuffer, I started seeing a naturopath.

I had genetic testing done through 23andme and it turned out that I have MTHFR, CBS, and COMT genetic defects.  These defects are common, so I’m not that much of a mutant.  The main result is that I have problems with my methylation pathway. I’m not going to try to explain it all because it’s very confusing, and others on the internet probably can explain it better than I.  What I can say is that it affects the way my body processes nutrients (like not being able to get benefit from regular B vitamins) and the way my body processes toxins (like not being able to get them out of my body very effectively). If you want to learn more about it I’d say look up “methylation” on google. Or look up “methylation and [condition you’re interested in].” It can cause lots of issues, like Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Autism, and Addiction, to name just a few.

I have been getting methylcobalamine (methylated B12) shots every two weeks and taking methylfolate (non prescription methylated B9) pills (Douglas brand), Zinc, Fish Oil, Magnesium, Vitamin D, and NAC. I cannot tell you the difference this has made in my energy, brain fog, and depression. I’m a different person.  My fibromyalgia pain is still here, so I hope that next steps with the naturopath will help with that. We’ll see. As far as the depression, I had a storm of bad stuff happen recently and I was upset, but didn’t fall into a hole. I feel like my bad feelings are not sticking around as long as they did before. Hallelujah!

If you are suffering with an illness and not getting relief from traditional medicine, I recommend you try naturopathy and get tested for genetic snps (defects) that may be precluding your healing.

P.S. Here’s an article of interest regarding methylfolate and depression, if you’re interested.  I’m surprised that this connection is not talked about more.