Monthly Archives: April 2013

baby blanket

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New crochet baby blanket  (Fabulous Husband’s brother’s baby coming soon!)
Easy to enjoy crafting:  So, look at this not perfect blanket, but so cute…the picture, also not perfect, and look at the crap hiding next to the blanket.  Oh and the background is so yucky…hahahaha.  Who cares.  Look.  My happy “what gender will it be” blanket is almost done.  Yeah, things I like.  Thanks for your input critical mind, but I’m still happy about it.
We have worried about Fabulous Husband’s mom not having a grandkid  Hooray!  Welcome new grandbaby!
Easy to move:  So an unnamed couple had purchased a loan with the mother-in-law carrying the mortgage because their credit rating wasn’t so good.  The mother-in-law collected the mortgage insurance tax break, although the couple was paying it, for the six years they lived there.  Seems a little counter productive, since the *sigh* “middle class” can’t really afford to buy a house without the mortgage interest tax break.  So after six years, the hard-working couple had struggled financially long enough and were fed up.  They moved out, a decision that for years had wracked them with guilt, worry, and panic. They were going to let the bank foreclose on the loan.  Relationship with mother-in-law be damned.  So they worried that mother-in-law would freak and disown them.  SURPRISE!  For now, mother-in-law has not disowned them, wasn’t angry and even expressed some compassion and understanding.  Oh, so surprising when things are easier than we think they’ll be.  They love their new house and will now have pocket money for fun adventures for their family!–Update:  turns out that the daughter had to threaten to disown the mother and then the mother sent a mean email, but then tried to make up for it–so I guess it wasn’t really that easy, but still…as fabulous husband says, you gotta do what you need to do.  In other words, don’t be codependent (another word, like consciousness, that is used in ways that make me cringe, but there it is).
Easy to tell stories of ease on the outside/Plans confuse the gremlins:  So after talking about other people’s ease and crafting, I have to say to myself, and also to you, dear reader, what’s going on inside?  Well, I’m okay.  No panic, no crying.  A little bit of “eh” about going back to work tomorrow now that Spring break is over.  Going to enjoy cloudy day, laundry, lunch with a friend, and grocery shopping.  Maybe go to tiki bar where Fabulous Husband will be playing records.  So lots of plans. Plans help.  Also making plans for August vacation to Florida to see FH’s (Fabulous Husband’s) mom.  Got the tix free with my Southwest Frequent Flyer miles.  Hooray.  Also making plans to visit family in Santa Fe in June.  So plans.  The internal forces (gremlins) that don’t like me are a little flabbergasted and confused by plans.  Hehe.  Points for ease!!!
ps:  don’t know why the wiki words are highlighted.  please ignore that little sign of imperfection, or celebrate it, whatever.

project easier begins

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Hello,

Welcome to my blog, project easier!  (that’s project, as in: plan, scheme, undertaking–or in this case non-scientific experiment…not to be confused with project, as in: send your undealt with crap out and think your bad feelings belong to someone else–who wants to do that more easily?).

The thought came to me…well, over and over, but really deeply now…what if life could just be a lot easier?  What if many of my assumptions, patterns, conditioning, complexes, subpersonalities, etc. were causing me to tighten up in the face of life, and what if this tightening was making life harder for me than it needs to be?  Okay.  What if.  Well, here’s the project: I am running an experiment to see if it’s possible to have life be a whole lot easier.  Here are the basic components of this “experiment”.

1.  Maybe things will actually be better, not worse, if I can free myself from mental self-torture (of course we know this is true….)

2.  Maybe at least some of my depression is really my soul saying, “come-on!  Figure out what you’re here for!  Don’t waste away half asleep, unhappily.”

3.  What if I can trust some people, like my good friends and my husband (thank you universe!)

4.  Maybe I can just say no to worry, panic, and overzealous, unproductive crying.

6.  Maybe being nimble is better than being safe.

7.  Maybe I can figure out what brings me joy.

8.  (this is so slippery, I just forgot it again)–oh yeah, neuroplasticity is real and possible for me!  Neurons that fire together wire together and I can rewire mine, damnit!

9.  a lot of the crap that makes me suffer is unconscious stuff left over from childhood, or that I pick up from other people and the world (that’s not the slippery one I just forgot though)

10.  Remember projecteasier is in progress every day.  Remember to wake up–I hate to say “be conscious” because so many people who rub me the wrong way are always talking about consciousness, but you know, like be mindful.  Mindfulness is awesome.  I also have to remember we can’t (none of us–not even maybe the Dalai Lama) can be mindful all the time.

Other thoughts:

So, I have hired a bunch of people over the years to stand in for my parents, who I apparently did not attach to very well, and many of these hired professionals attest to my suffering from “attachment issues”.  So what are attachment issues?  Well, I’ve been watching some Daniel Siegal videos and I ordered a book from amazon. Siegal is a Psychology/neurobio researcher at UCLA. Here’s the Daniel Siegal video that makes me think I suffer from “ambivalent attachment”:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGhZtUrpCuc%5D.

Fabulous husband sent me a great article on the *sigh* disappearance of the middle class that makes a lot of sense and makes me go…okay, change your vision, viewpoint–http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-altucher/10-reasons-to-quit-your-job_b_3020829.html

And here’s a link to my pinterest board, suenos azules. I so love blue and part of project easier is about just enjoying what I enjoy…putting the focus there…so relax into blue dreams…http://pinterest.com/ellen915/suenos-azules/

Okay, well, this isn’t perfect, and I’m not sure those links are going to hyperlink, but this doesn’t have to be perfect.  Oh, god, yes.  It might be that easy.

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