Hello,

Welcome to my blog, project easier!  (that’s project, as in: plan, scheme, undertaking–or in this case non-scientific experiment…not to be confused with project, as in: send your undealt with crap out and think your bad feelings belong to someone else–who wants to do that more easily?).

The thought came to me…well, over and over, but really deeply now…what if life could just be a lot easier?  What if many of my assumptions, patterns, conditioning, complexes, subpersonalities, etc. were causing me to tighten up in the face of life, and what if this tightening was making life harder for me than it needs to be?  Okay.  What if.  Well, here’s the project: I am running an experiment to see if it’s possible to have life be a whole lot easier.  Here are the basic components of this “experiment”.

1.  Maybe things will actually be better, not worse, if I can free myself from mental self-torture (of course we know this is true….)

2.  Maybe at least some of my depression is really my soul saying, “come-on!  Figure out what you’re here for!  Don’t waste away half asleep, unhappily.”

3.  What if I can trust some people, like my good friends and my husband (thank you universe!)

4.  Maybe I can just say no to worry, panic, and overzealous, unproductive crying.

6.  Maybe being nimble is better than being safe.

7.  Maybe I can figure out what brings me joy.

8.  (this is so slippery, I just forgot it again)–oh yeah, neuroplasticity is real and possible for me!  Neurons that fire together wire together and I can rewire mine, damnit!

9.  a lot of the crap that makes me suffer is unconscious stuff left over from childhood, or that I pick up from other people and the world (that’s not the slippery one I just forgot though)

10.  Remember projecteasier is in progress every day.  Remember to wake up–I hate to say “be conscious” because so many people who rub me the wrong way are always talking about consciousness, but you know, like be mindful.  Mindfulness is awesome.  I also have to remember we can’t (none of us–not even maybe the Dalai Lama) can be mindful all the time.

Other thoughts:

So, I have hired a bunch of people over the years to stand in for my parents, who I apparently did not attach to very well, and many of these hired professionals attest to my suffering from “attachment issues”.  So what are attachment issues?  Well, I’ve been watching some Daniel Siegal videos and I ordered a book from amazon. Siegal is a Psychology/neurobio researcher at UCLA. Here’s the Daniel Siegal video that makes me think I suffer from “ambivalent attachment”:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGhZtUrpCuc%5D.

Fabulous husband sent me a great article on the *sigh* disappearance of the middle class that makes a lot of sense and makes me go…okay, change your vision, viewpoint–http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-altucher/10-reasons-to-quit-your-job_b_3020829.html

And here’s a link to my pinterest board, suenos azules. I so love blue and part of project easier is about just enjoying what I enjoy…putting the focus there…so relax into blue dreams…http://pinterest.com/ellen915/suenos-azules/

Okay, well, this isn’t perfect, and I’m not sure those links are going to hyperlink, but this doesn’t have to be perfect.  Oh, god, yes.  It might be that easy.

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