through the window I see you

In the holding pattern before school lets out…fibrofog-end-of-the-school-year-teacher…I’m so tired.  At the end of the day my mind says to me, “I’m not functional”  It’s different than disfunctional.  It’s non-functional.  So I don’t get much done but work.  I’m  living in my little unconscious dream of hard work and later chips and wine and books and tv.  Waiting, waiting, to come alive again to myself.  Underneath all of this dissociated blahness, though…something is happening…the unconscious keeps spinning its web…doing its thing…and I can see little shimmers of my awakened self, just over the sill.  Just there.  Over there.  I, awakened, feeling great, finding the new path, just over there.